


Not By Choice

by im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance



Category: CNCO (Band)
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Boys Kissing, Bromance, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Jobdiel, Love, M/M, OReO - Freeform, Ristopher, Romance, Same-Sex Marriage, Secret Relationship, Sex, Sex Tapes, Sexual Tension, Virgato, ex-boyfriend, slowly falling in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2019-11-15 12:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18073061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance/pseuds/im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance
Summary: It was one thing to get drunk but another to get drunk and wake up naked with your best friend, without having a clue of what happened. Joel may have told Christopher he would sort things out but he had no idea what he should do. How do you undo something like that when you can't even ask your friends for advice? What they did not realize was that what they were worried about was far from the truth because there were many more things that none of them were aware of, things that they could not even imagine.





	1. For Old Time's Sake

**Author's Note:**

> I started this Fic as 'Solo Yo' but then I thought of rewriting it. So here it goes.

It was finally here, the day that he had been dreading for the past couple of days. Like everyone else, he too was excited to no longer be a teenager and finally embrace adulthood but as the day was getting closer, Joel was feeling more and more apprehensive. It was not even that he was unhappy about it; it was his birthday after all. In fact, Erick and he had been talking about it for a couple of months and they were both so eager about his birthday, just as much excited as they had been for Erick’s eighteenth birthday; they had been talking, discussing, planning about it, as they did pretty much together. Apart from being his best friend, Erick also his neighbor and that was actually how they had gotten to know each other in the first place. Joel could still remember that day thirteen years ago and even though he was only seven, he could vividly recall how Erick had looked when he had hidden behind his teddy bear before running into the house, after his mom, the day the boy had moved in.

It had not been hard for them to get along, they had instantly gotten close and were still inseparable, even after all those years. They were those kinds of best friends who did everything together that it was a common occurrence for others to get annoyed with them, not that it ever stopped them. Smiling, Joel looked out the window and at Erick’s window and a frown instantly appeared on his features when he realized that both his window and curtain were closed, which was odd because they had a trip and they were both supposed to be packing; where was Erick?

“Looking for someone?” Erick asked as he also looked out of the window.

“Yeah, for you silly,” Joel smiled. “Are you done packing?”

“Are you kidding?” Erick motioned to the bags that he had previously dropped by the door when he had come in. He followed Joel to the bed, dropped himself on the mattress and looked at Joel’s empty bag, then at the clothes that were scattered beside him. “Why aren’t you done packing?”

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there. I just don’t know what to pack.” Getting to his feet, Joel folded another t-shirt and set it on the bed before looking at the pile of clothes. Instantly another frown appeared on his forehead and he took the last two shirts that he had laid there and simply set them back in his closet; they looked a little too old and if they were to go out, button-downs would seem more appropriate. Besides, on any other day, he would rather wear button-downs than tees because he thought they could be both casual and chic. Joel stared at his opened closet and even though he did not own that many clothes, he was having a hard time choosing from them.

“Joel, my sweet potato, you need to hurry if you don’t want us to miss our flight.”

“Which is in a few hours. I have plenty of time, six hours to be exact.” To prove his point and to Erick’s dismay, he dropped himself backward on the mattress and hugged his pillow to his chest before letting out a sigh.

“OMG, only six freaking hours left. Aren’t you as excited as I am? We’re finally going to Vegas,” Erick squealed and Joel laughed.

Yes, Las Vegas. That was where they, meaning Richard, Christopher, Erick and of course Zabdiel, had planned to celebrate his twentieth birthday. Who were the other three? Well, Joel and Richard had met when Joel was ten; he used to accompany his mom to that tutoring thing that she used to do on Saturdays and Richard happened to be one of the neighborhood kids who used to attend her classes. He was always the first one to come and the last one to go, which gave Joel plenty of time to get to know him and befriend him. Richard was like that easy-going, crazy and yet down-to-earth person and it was always more fun when he was around. Even though his family had moved later on, the two of them still stayed close friends. As for Christopher and Zabdiel, they used to attend same school as Richard and were both friends of Richard, whom the boy had introduced to them. The probabilities of all of them getting along were minimal because they were all different from one another but still, they bonded well. Christopher had trouble written all over him, he had that charming personality that always helped him to get his ways and yet, he was the kind of person who would never lose their childish side, even though they would age.

And Zabdiel, Joel sighed at the thought of his name. What could he say? Zabdiel was someone who would care without expectations or reasons and he had that little something in him that would make others smile while other times he could be that mischievous person who would not be satisfied until he had succeeded in annoying someone. He had a hell of a personality that used to make Joel feel warm and yet shiver at the same time; even today, he could not explain the things that that boy used to make him feel. Those things had drawn him closer and closer to Zabdiel and that was how they had ended being in a relationship. Zabdiel was one of the sweetest person he knew and yet he would add that spiciness to Joel’s life. Zabdiel was the love of his life and they used to mean the world to each other, well, at least that was how Joel had felt until… Things were perfect between them, almost too perfect for it to last long since Joel was left with no choice but to end things. That same boy was going with them to Vegas, to celebrate his birthday, and that was the reason why Joel had been anxious.

To see him after a year of avoiding him and then spend four days with him around, how was he going to do that? Even thinking about it made the hair on his body stand straight. It would be wrong to say that he hated Zabdiel because he certainly did not but that did not mean he was looking forward to seeing him anytime. Did he regret saying yes to Richard when he had asked him if Zabdiel could come? Yes, although at that time he had only agreed because he had told himself that he had moved on and he had to forget whatever had happened in the past. However, as the days kept getting closer, he was not sure if it was a good idea after all.

“Joellll…”

“I am. I am very excited.”

“Come on, smile a little.” Erick said as he reached out to tickle the boy’s ribs. “It’s your birthday tomorrow and I’m more excited than you.”

Laughing, Joel pushed his hands away. “Stoppp… Just because I’m not showing it, does not mean I’m not excited.”

“Wait! How can you be excited and not have the appropriate facial expression that goes with it? That’s impossible.”

“I’m just…”

“Weird?”

“No,” Joel laughed and tossed the pillow at him. “Help me pack?”

Without being asked twice, Erick made his way to the closet and tapped his index against his chin. “This, this, this, oh, definitely this shirt, blue jeans, t-shirt and jacket. There,” Erick shoved them all in the suitcase and closed it.

Joel stared at him with open mouth. “You call this packing?”

“Yes. Who’s gonna care if your clothes are neatly folded? As long as what you need are in the suitcase, you’re all set. Thank you, Erick, you’re such an amazing friend,” Erick patted himself on the shoulder. “Oh, you’re welcome Joel.”

Joel shook his head at him. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Wait, we forgot something.” Before Joel could question him, he walked to the other side of the bed and opened the drawer of the bedside table. He rummaged through the contents and smiled when he found what he was looking for. “Condoms. Very, very important.”

“I’m not going to Vegas to get laid, I’m going to celebrate my birthday.”

“And get laid,” Erick added. “When are we getting that opportunity again?”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Still not planning on getting laid. You can leave them behind.”

“No, we’re packing them. We never know what might happen,” Erick wriggled his eyebrows.

Joel rolled his eyes when Erick simply ignored him and shoved the condoms in the pocket of his bag. “You’re right. We never know what might happen. Maybe they’ll be useful to you.”

“Don’t worry, I already packed my own. Thank you but… if I happen to be running out of them, I know just where to go looking.”

“You’re impossible. What about the others?”

“I spoke to Richard earlier. He’s at Chris and Zabdiel’s house and the three of them will meet us directly at the airport.”

“Oh,” Joel nodded.

Then Erick realized something. “Are you like this because Zabdiel is going?”

“What?” Joel laughed but Erick could sense he was faking it.

“Don’t lie to me. You said you would not have any problem if he goes.”

“I know and I don’t have one. It’s just…”

“It’s been a year Joel.”

“Exactly, it feels weird to see him after so long. What if something goes wrong?”

“Nothing will go wrong but if you want to cancel… Do you want to cancel? Because if you don’t feel comfortable with him coming, I’ll call Richard and let him know.”

“No, of course not. It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I’m probably just over-reacting.”

“Definitely over-reacting,” Erick mocked and they both laughed. “Can we get something to eat then we can join the others at Chris’ house?”

“Eating sounds good,” Joel nodded and chose to ignore the second part of the question. Going to Christopher’s house? That meant going to Zabdiel’s house because those two stayed together.

“And meeting the others?”

“Ok, let’s do it. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to see him, so… why not now? At least we’ll be done with that part.”

“See? That’s the spirit.”

“But first we eat.”

**Thirty-two hours later**

Joel took a sip of his drink and eyed Richard, who laughed at something Erick had said before directing his eyes to Zabdiel. Contrary to what he had thought, meeting him had not been that bad and even though they were sitting together, things were not awkward. Zabdiel looked different now; his hair was blonde, his cheeks were less chubby and there was that different thing about Zabdiel that Joel could not grasp. Then he realized something; he should not be looking at Zabdiel and analyzing all the changes that had occurred in him physically in the past year. Joel jolted when something hit his cheek before falling onto his thigh and looked down to realize it was a little umbrella that Erick had in his drink. Looking back up, he saw Erick grinning at him and noticed that Richard was no longer sitting next to the boy; Richard was dancing with some girl, who was also dancing with Chris. He could feel Zabdiel’s eyes on him and taking a deep breath, he walked to that girl, who was giving him the eyes since the past half an hour.

Zabdiel shifted closer to Erick and nudged him in the elbow. “Hey.”

“Zabdi, I’m really glad that you came. It’s been so long since all of us hanged out together, someone was always missing.”

“I know, it feels good. But I’m not so sure Joel really wants me here.”

“Of course that’s not true. It’s just… all this is a little weird for him. Give him some time and he’ll be fine.”

Zabdiel laughed. “What? He’s been ignoring me for 1 year, 3 months, 2 weeks and 4 days. How much more time does he need? Yesterday was the first time he said ‘hi’ to me since we broke up.”

“Hmm… somebody’s been counting.”

“I know I messed up and I really regret what happened. Trust me. The least I wanted was to hurt Joel, you know how much he meant to me. He could have given me a chance, if not as his boyfriend, at least as his friend. But no, he only wants to ignore me.”

“Aw,” Erick made a pouty face and pulled Zabdiel into a hug. “He said ‘hi’ I’m sure he’ll say more than this.”

“So…” Zabdiel started then took a pause. “Is he like… you know… seeing somebody?”

“See for yourself.”

Zabdiel turned his head and looked at Joel; Joel was dancing really close to that girl and his hand was trailing down her back. He then realized Joel’s other hand was already on the girl’s ass and he pulled her closer, causing Zabdiel to look away. “Who’s that guy? This is not the Joel that I used to know.”

“Well, he did say he’s coming to Vegas to get laid,” Erick shrugged.

“Really? He said that?”

“Maybe… maybe he didn’t… who knows?”

“Let’s dance.”

Before Erick could answer, Zabdiel had pulled him to his feet and dragged him to the dancefloor. “Woah… human being, handle with care,” Erick laughed.

“Stop being a drama queen and dance with me.”

“Ok, ok, I’m dancing. What’s going on in your mind?”

“What’s going on in my mind?”

“I don’t know but you have that look on your face that’s making it obvious that you have something going on in your head.”

“Just your imagination.”

“Yeah, and is that why you’re dancing right behind Joel?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled to Joel after intentionally elbowing him in the back and then turned his attention back to Erick. “What? Music’s too loud, I can’t hear you.”

“Why are you dancing right behind Joel?” Erick asked louder when Zabdiel again elbowed Joel.

“What? Joel? Where?” Just as Zabdiel spun around, Joel also turned around to see who was constantly hitting him and they both ended up face-to-face, causing Joel to trip on his own foot when he realized how close Zabdiel was to him. However, Zabdiel was quicker and he grabbed his arm to steady him. “Careful.”

“I can handle myself,” Joel mumbled as he freed himself from Zabdiel’s grip. “I need another drink.” He whispered something in the girl’s ear and they both left.

“Fuck,” Zabdiel sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I thought coming here would be like a fresh start for us but I was wrong. Coming here was a mistake. I’m going back to the hotel.”

“Zabdiel…”

“Hey, where’d Zabdiel go?” Richard slapped Erick’s back and asked.

“To the hotel. He’s upset.”

“I’m gonna go and see.”

 


	2. What The Heck?

Joel tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth and reached out to pat the nightstand for his phone to check the time; he had the impression it was almost midday because the bright light, coming from the window, was disturbing his eyes even though he had his eyes closed. Not finding anything, he shifted to a more comfortable position on his stomach and pulled the blanket higher up to the back of his neck as he went on for some more hours of sleep while ignoring whatever had landed on his back. However, he opened his eyes wide after a couple of minutes. That ‘thing’ in question was not something that could be ignored because seeing as it was left there, Joel could feel the heat coming from it, even across the thickness of the blanket. Was that an arm? Instantly, he brushed that thought off; why would there be an arm on his back? Besides, he did not remember going to bed with anyone the previous night. Heck! He did not remember much from the previous night, other than the fact that they celebrated his birthday, went to the club and he left with a girl. That girl?

Slowly, he turned his head to his left, making sure to keep the rest of his body as still as possible in the process, because the least he wanted to do was to wake the _‘person’_ , who was lying beside him. Truth was: he was not someone who would sleep around with just anyone and the only ones he would allow to spend the night in his bed were Erick, Richard and Christopher and that was because they were friends and usually they would fall asleep together after long night chats. Back to the current situation, the action of turning his head to see the person was a slow one because he dreaded who he would find next to him, hoping it was not a random girl or worst, Zabdiel because he did not know how to deal with that one. It was not like he had never slept in the same bed or never had sex with Zabdiel before but considering he was Joel’s ex and Joel was still trying to move on, it would simply complicate things. Much to his relief, Joel let out the breath that he had been holding when his eyes landed on a familiar face; it was only Christopher.

His eyes felt heavy and in spite of lying down, he felt dizzy, his head felt like it was going to explode and there was an unknown feeling going on in his stomach. Concluding he would feel better after some more sleep, he was about to close them again when something else caught his attention. Christopher was naked: naked as in, he was completely nude and there was nothing covering his nudity. Why was Chris naked in his bed? Instantly, he could feel himself blushing because he was not used to waking up next to naked guys and the only guy he had ever slept with was Zabdiel. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Joel propped himself on his elbows to look around himself through his half-closed eyes and realised he was not in his room. Okay, what was he doing naked in Chris’ bed? Because he did not need to lift the covers to know that he was equally naked. He knew there were a few drinks circulating the previous night but it had never happened to him to drink and not remember anything the next morning. Usually, he was a moderate drinker, how did he even get so drunk? Then a whole lot of questions followed.

How did they get back to the hotel? When did they get back? How did he end up in Chris’ room? Why was he the only one there? Where were the others? If they had all gone to the club together, how come he was the only one there? Most importantly, how did they end up naked? Why were they even naked together? How did he reach Christopher’s room if the last thing he remembered was leaving with a girl? What had happened after that? Maybe Chris had better memory than he had and he should probably ask him because Chris was better at handling alcohol and hangovers. Joel again turned to his left to look at Chris and instantly made a face at the boy, who was lying on his back. He grabbed a pillow and threw it onto Christopher’s hips, hiding that _‘part’_ that was offending his eyes.

“Chris,” he whispered. “Chris,” he said a little louder when Chris made no move.

Christopher only groaned, scratched his head and rolled onto his side, away from the voice that was disturbing him. He was too tired to open his eyes and whoever that person, who sounded like Joel, was, he would have to wait because he had no intention of waking up anytime soon. Chris scratched his ass cheek and Joel scrunched his nose; as if the whole situation was not disturbing enough and Chris had to do that. He reached out to shake the other boy’s shoulder but his eyes widened and he froze on the spot when his eyes landed on that thing. He blinked and slapped his cheeks a couple of times to make sure that he was awake and was not imagining things but it was still there. Was it what he thought it was? Of course it was not but it looked just like one. Joel ran his fingers through his hair and bit on his lower lip as his eyes kept going back and forth between his hand and Christopher’s naked back. He stopped when that action made his headache worse and took a deep breath. Maybe he should try to wake Chris up again. Yes, maybe he should do that and maybe Chris could explain what was going on.

“Chris?” he shook his shoulder and waited. “Wake up.”

“Hmm… what?” he groaned again.

“Please wake up.”

“Lemme sleeeeeep…”

“No, wake up now,” he said but it almost sounded like an order. However, Christopher ignored him and closed his eyes again. Sighing, Joel grabbed a pillow and hit him continuously on the head. “Wake up, wake up, wake up…”

“Joel, stoooopppp…” Chris whined. “I’m tired and sleepy and I have the massivest headache.”

“That’s not even a word.”

“Exactly, that’s why I have to sleep.”

“Chris…” Joel urged. “You can sleep later. I really need to talk to you right now.”

“Talking to a person who has a hangover is not the best thing to do because it’s always pointless. Can’t it wait?”

“No, if it could, I wouldn’t be wasting my time trying to wake you up. Besides, if you are answering my questions, then you might as well wake up.”

Christopher sighed and sat up, almost regretting the sudden action as the room started spinning. “What?”

“Tell me everything you remember.”

“What? Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. Tell me everything,” Joel urged.

Christopher again sighed. “I’m Christopher. I’m 23. I have a brother… You’re my friend… I live with Zabdiel… We’re in… Las Vegas…”

 _Las Vegas_. At the mention of the place, _Waking Up In Vegas_ by Katy Perry started playing in Joel’s head and he let out a groaned.

“What?” Chris frowned.

“Nothing… what do you remember about last night?”

“Oh yeah, it was your birthday. Happy birthday?” he said as he raised an eyebrow at Joel; what was wrong with him? Why was he asking him all those irrelevant questions? Why was he holding the blanket so high up on his chest? It was not like they had never seen each other shirtless before. He was acting weird, too weird for him to understand with his hangover.

“After that? What happened?”

“Hmm… we celebrated your birthday, we went to the club, we had a few drinks…”

“After that?”

“Too drunk to remember.”

Joel let go of the blanket and punched the mattress, “Fuck!”

That was when something on Joel’s collarbone caught Chris’ eyes; was that a hickey? What did Joel do that made him so upset because he could not remember?

“What are you staring at?”

“Nothing…” Chris cleared his throat and averted his eyes.

“How can you just sit there so calmly when I’m freaking out?”

“Why don’t you take a few deep breaths and tell me what’s going on?”

“Did we… last night?”

“We did…” Joel sucked in a breath when Chris started but then he added, “do lots of things last night.”

“Did we have sex?” Joel asked and almost cringed as those words went past his lips.

Christopher wanted to laugh at that but with his headache, the laugh only came out as a scoff. “What? I think you’ve had too many drinks.”

“Why are you naked then?” Joel glared at him.

Chris looked down at himself and realised that he was in fact naked. “I don’t know why I’m naked. Are you naked?”

“Yes, I’m naked too. Why are we naked together in your bed? Aren’t you freaking out now?”

“No, just because we’re naked in bed together doesn’t mean something happened. Maybe we had girls in here. Maybe they left already. Maybe you’re looking at things from the wrong angle.”

“See, you’re not sure. There’s always that ‘maybe’.”

“You’re crazy and I’m going to back sleep.”

“No, you’re not.”

“What do you want me to do? Sit here and watch you be unreasonable? Bro, I have a headache. I need to sleep.”

“I am going crazy here and all you can think about is sleep,” Joel said and after every word, he made sure to hit Chris on the head with his pillow.

“Ow… Stop it. You’re starting to get annoying.”

“How can I stop? We had sex.”

“Come on Joel, be rational,” Chris sighed. “Me and you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Me and you?”

“What I’m saying is… you’re hot but no offense… you’re definitely not my type and I’m pretty sure I’m not your type either.”

“That’s true,” Joel nodded because it was the only thing that made sense at that moment; they had no physical attraction for each other nor nothing more than friendly feelings; at least, that was the case from his side. “Can you wear something please?”

“Yeah.” Chris reached out to grab his boxers that were on the floor but seeing that they were too far and out of his reach, he only gathered the blanket in his lap. “Now, relax. It’s probably nothing like you’re thinking. Get some sleep. It will clear your mind.”

Joel nodded; maybe Chris was right and he was over-reacting. Maybe there really were girls with them, girls who left before he woke up. Maybe he was still too drunk to think proper and that was why he was getting those thoughts. Nothing happened and Chris was still only his friend, nothing more. While playing with his hands that were in his lap, he remembered something that had escaped his mind. What about that thing?

“Show me your hand.”

Chris again opened his eyes and groaned. He had thought they had settled things and he could get some more sleep but apparently he was wrong. “What?”

“Do you have it too?”

“Have what?”

Joel raised his hand so that Chris could see what he was talking about. “This.”

“Is that a…”

“Fucking wedding ring. Yeah, I think so. Show me your finger.” When Chris seemed too slow to do the action, Joel grabbed his hand and stared at it. “No, no, no, no, no… please tell me this is a dream, a really bad dream that I want to wake up from.”

“Do you think… me and you…” Christopher started but shook his head at the thought.

“What are we gonna do?” Joel got off the bed, stepped on a used condom and made a face. “What the fuck?”

“What?” Chris shifted and looked at what Joel was looking at. Condom? Joel was right, they really did have sex. If they did, then who… Christopher shuddered at the thought; he did not want to think about the possibilities of him having lost his virginity to Joel. He looked up at Joel, who was getting dressed and bit on the side of his lip. “We can’t tell anyone, not a word. This stays between the two of us, only us.”

“Agreed. We’ll figure it out. I’ll fix this,” Joel paused in front of the mirror to fix his shirt and glared at his reflection when a purple bruise on his collarbone caught his attention. At the same moment, a little voice at the back of his head whispered, _‘that’s what you get for waking up in Vegas’_. Joel cursed and exited the room.

“Wait! Are we married to each other or are we married to different people?” Chris asked but Joel was already gone. Should he start worrying? No, Joel was smart and if Joel said he was going to undo things, Chris trusted him. He dropped himself backward on the mattress, stared at the ceiling and mumbled to no one in particular, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

**On the other side of the door**

The moment he was alone, he pressed his back against the wall and sighed; why to him? Why not to someone else? They were going to be there for three more days and as if dealing with Zabdiel being there was not enough now he had to worry about being married to Chris as well. Sensing the alcohol rising in his stomach, Joel straightened himself and took a few deep breaths while the wheels in his brain kept turning. He knew it, he knew that trip was a terrible idea and he wished he had agreed to stay back when Erick had proposed to. Although Joel had told himself he should be thinking like Erick and should be looking at things from a positive angle, where they would be there for four days, have fun and then go back to their routines but nothing was going the way he planned, like Zabdiel, who was walking towards him at the moment. Not wanting to have a conversation with him at that time of the day, he turned around to walk away but instantly regretted that decision when everything around him looked fuzzy and blurry. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and despite himself, the hair at the back of his neck stood straight.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said, even though Zabdiel had not asked him anything.

“Are you?” he asked after taking another bite of his apple.

“What do you want?” Joel asked instead, without turning to look at him.

“Nothing… I saw you and I thought I’d say ‘hi’.”

“Ok, hi. And bye.”

“It’s been over a year now. How much longer do you intend to ignore me? You could at least talk to me every now and then.”

“Seriously Zabdiel, now is really not a good time.”

“When is? It’s always the same answer with you. Can’t you forget what happened?”

Joel balled his hands into fists and took a deep breath. “You should have thought about it before you… Will you stop following me?”

“But can you at least forgive me? I don’t like to see you like this.”

“I’m not like anything. This is my room. Bye.” Zabdiel stepped inside the moment Joel opened the door. “Really? Don’t you have anything else to do?”

“Nope… everyone else is asleep, except for you.”

“Why am I not sleeping?”

“Is it so bad to hang out with me? Cause I’d really like to hang out with you, like we used to.”

“Is it bad if I say I’d like to abstain from that?” Joel pressed his palm to his forehead and dropped himself backward on his bed. However, he sat back up when he felt the mattress dip beside him and he realised Zabdiel had taken a seat next to him. “You’re so annoying.”

“I think the one who’s being annoying right now is you.”

“Really? How’s that?”

“Well, I’m trying to be nice and talk to you but all you’ve been doing is being mean and giving all those nonchalant replies.”

“I wish I was asleep too,” Joel mumbled.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about.”

“Zabdi-Zabdiel, I have a headache and I want to sleep but you just keep… can’t you leave me alone?”

“Fine, go to sleep. I won’t disturb you anymore but know that when you wake up, you’ll still find me sitting here and waiting to talk to you.”

Joel turned his head to the side to look at the boy and his eyes instantly went to his lips that enclosed around the apple as he took another bite. Why was he still eating that apple? Although his mind was telling him to look away, he kept watching him as he chewed before licking his lips. Suddenly, memories of what that mouth had done to him came rushing into his mind and instinctively, Joel bit on his lower lip. What was happening to him? It was like he had no control over his body and when Zabdiel turned to look at him, he found himself leaning in. He paused at a couple inches away from Zabdiel and he could feel Zabdiel’s breath against his lips and Zabdiel’s eyes on his face. That was when he snapped out of it and quickly pulled away. What the hell was he up to?

“You have to leave. You’re taking advantage of me while I’m drunk.”

“Excuse me? You’re the one who’s making a move on me. I should be saying this.”

Getting to his feet, Joel ran a hand through his hair. “Oh please! You’ve been trying to make a move on me since we came here. And now you’re in my room and getting inside my head. Let me clarify things, that’s where it stops. Don’t think you’ll seduce me and get in my pants. That’s never gonna happen. At least, I’m not gonna let it happen, no matter how hard you try.”

“Get a grip of yourself, please. I have no such intentions and you’re clearly way over your head.”

“This is all your doings. You and your fucking apple. Get out of my room.”

Zabdiel simply shook his head and left without saying anything else. Joel let a sigh of relief when the door closed and again dropped himself on the bed. What had just happened? What was happening? First he was married to Chris and now, he almost kissed Zabdiel; he knew trying to kiss Zabdiel was not the effect of the alcohol but he decided to assume it was. And he had to endure three more days there? He did not know how he was going to do that but he certainly knew that they were going to be a pain in his ass.

 


	3. Ignorance Isn't Always A Bliss... Or Maybe It Is

Clearing his throat, Chris rolled onto his back and then on his side as he tried to go back to sleep. It was barely six in the morning and, himself, not being a morning person, he only wanted more and more sleep. Ten seconds later, he turned to the other side and without opening his eyes, he pulled a spare pillow over his head, adjusted the blanket over his shoulder and exhaled. He had been trying to fall asleep for long minutes now, had tried to clear his mind and relax, had tried to have peaceful thoughts, had done all the stupid things that he could possibly have done, like singing himself a lullaby or counting sheep in his head, but none of those worked; he was still as wide awake as he had been before. Actually, he had woken up at slightly past five because his throat felt itchy and he needed to drink some something. Yes, he was draining the last bit of water when his eyes had landed on that golden band that was around his finger. Fuck! The ring, he was still wearing it. Then all of a sudden, everything had come rushing back to him.

The previous day, he had abruptly been woken up by Joel, who had been acting weird, before telling him that they were married. At that time, he had thought: _‘what the hell?’_ , Joel was probably messing with him. Then there was the wedding ring, the condom on the floor and the fact that they were both naked in bed together. He was still buzzing from the previous night and had a headache but he clearly remembered Joel saying something about fixing things or undoing things; he was not quite sure about which one it was. After Joel had left, he had slept again because his brain never functioned proper when he was hungover and headache or not, he always felt better after a nap. At that moment, he had thought he was too drunk and so was Joel and they had both imagined things but as he was sobering up, all he could think about were: wedding rings and used condom. Then all kind of questions started pouring in; thus keeping him awake when he wanted, needed, more sleep.

Why Joel? Erick, Zabdiel and Richard had gone out with them as well, then why Joel? How did that happen? Did the others know? Crap! That did not sound good because they were supposed to keep the people involved to the strict minimum and they had agreed to keep things only between the two of them. What was he thinking? If ever there were something between them, then they would keep it secret. Technically, there was no evidence that something had happened, except for the rings and the condom. The rings? They could totally mean something else, something that they were overlooking. As for the condom, just because it was on the floor and they were naked together, did not necessarily mean they had sex. Like he had told Joel, there could have been other people with them. Or there could also be that other theory, the one that no one would talk about; the one where Joel wanted to make Zabdiel jealous and nothing more, where it was all pretense. That was highly improbable though, knowing how determined Joel was about keeping his distance from Zabdiel. Like that, he was back on square one, where nothing added up.

He did not know about Joel but he was definitely going crazy. Christopher rolled onto his back and let out a sigh. Maybe he should see Joel and ask him if he had fixed things yet. Yes, that was what he was going to do. With that in mind, he got off the bed, went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and got dressed. On second thoughts, he decided a shower would do him some good and after that, he double-checked if he had any hickeys on him; he had done already the previous day but it could be that his eyes had missed any in his non-sober state and besides, there was no harm in checking again. Finally, he left his room and walked down the hallway, past Zabdiel’s door, Erick’s door and then he stopped in front of the door that he dreaded to knock on. He stared at it for long minutes, wondering what he should say to the boy once they would be in front of one another or simply how he should start _that_ conversation; he had had it all planned in his head when he was in the shower but from there to where he currently was, he was not sure about his speech anymore.

“How much longer do you intend to stare at my door?”

Chris turned around to come face to face with… “Joel? Hi, how are you? What are you doing behind me?” he laughed nervously as he rubbed his eyebrow with the side of his index.

“I went to the gym… that’s where I’m coming from. What about you? Why were you contemplating my door? What’s so interesting in that brown wood?”

“Gym? At this time? It’s not even eight.”

Joel ignored the last comment; for Chris, eight in the morning was probably a time to still be in bed. He opened the door and let the boy inside before following him. “I wasn’t feeling too good and I needed to clear my head. Usually a jog or some cardio does the trick. You should try it sometimes.”

Not feeling good? That was not a good sign. Was Joel as bothered as he was? Christopher nodded and dropped himself in a chair. “Maybe…” he said passively. “Anyways, we need to talk, like really, really need to talk.”

Downing half a bottle of water, Joel looked at him. “Ok, about what?” he asked, although he had a notion about what it could be.

“You know what we need to talk about. Yesterday you just freaked out and left the room, without listening to me.”

“That’s funny ‘coz that’s not how I remember things,” Joel snorted. “I, as in me Joel, tried talking to you but all you cared about was sleeping.”

“I had a headache and you… I don’t know. All I remember is that you kept saying we had sex and we were married and you’d fix things. So, did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Undo this?”

Joel laughed. “What do you think I am? Fairy-godmother? Swish-swish, magic spell and we’re not married anymore? In real life, it’s more complex.”

“Sorry I asked. I just… wanted to know.”

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just have so much on my mind. I still can’t believe we’re married,” he sighed as he looked at Christopher and he did not fail to notice that the boy was no longer wearing the ring. Why would he? Even he was not wearing his.

“What if we’re wrong? Are we married to each other or to different people?” Christopher repeated the question that he had asked the previous day. “What if it’s something we’re not considering?”

“Like what? I don’t see any other reason.”

“Huh…” Chris started then paused, swallowed and watched Joel as he carefully said the next part, “what if you’re just trying to make Zabdiel jealous? You know to get back at him?”

Joel let out a loud ironic laugh. “I don’t care about what Zabdiel does or says or thinks or even feels. He’s my past, history, irrelevant to me or in my life.”

“Yeah, but… I mean, the wedding rings do not really prove anything, right?”

“Nah, it’s definitely clear that we’re married to each other.”

“How can you be sure? You said you didn’t remember a thing either.”

“I know, I know but… when I got back to my room yesterday, I’ve spent long hours trying to think… to remember something, anything but my mind was still blank. It was like the second half of the night had completely been erased from my memory. It was really frustrating. No matter how much I tried, I can’t bring myself to recall what happened. I’m scared to ask someone else because part of me does not want to know what really happened. So, for now, let’s just stick to the fact that we’re married to each other.”

“Holy shit! This is bad. Really, really bad.”

“Nuh huh,” Joel shook his head negatively. “It’s actually not so bad, you know… being married to each other.”

“What the hell? How is that any good?”

“Ok… maybe not the part where we are married but think about it. It’s a good thing that it’s to each other. I mean… what if we were married to people we did not remember the faces of? I don’t even want to think about it.”

“How are we even going to fix this?”

Joel took a deep breath before sitting at the foot of the bed. “I don’t know but I told you I would, so I will. I will do anything I can, I promise. Just leave it to me.”

“Alright…”

The room fell silent and none of them said anything else; they were both lost in their thoughts, weighing the pros and cons of the situation. Although none of them wanted it, there was nothing they could do at the moment, except waiting.

“Do you want to go out later?” Joel asked after a few minutes.

Christopher again frowned; he was already feeling weird about being married to Joel and now Joel wanted to go out. What? Like a date? Why would Joel want that? He did say something about not regretting being married to him. Did Joel want this? Were there things that he was not telling Chris?

“Chris? Where are you lost?”

“Nowhere…”

“So, you wanna go out later? Our flight is not until tomorrow night and you already missed out yesterday because you wanted to sleep.”

“I think I’ll just stay in.”

“Again? Okay then… I guess it’s just me, Erick, Zabdiel and Richard then.”

“Wait! Erick, Richard and Zabdiel are going too? Ok then, I’ll go too.”

“Wow, just wow. I can’t believe you just did that,” Joel threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“What?”

“Ditching me because you thought it was just me and you. Is this how things are gonna be now? You’re going to act awkward when we’re alone, just me and you.” It was already awkward between him and Zabdiel, he did not need that with another one of his friend.

“No, of course not… just your imagination,” Chris smiled lightly. “You know I love you,” he said and they both stared at each other. “Like a friend,” he added.

“Whatever. I’m going to take a shower.”

Without waiting for an answer, he walked to the bathroom. Chris looked around the empty room; maybe he should go back to his own room and get ready himself. He walked to the bathroom to inform Joel that he was leaving but as he raised his hand to knock on the door, he paused, shook his head and only left without any acknowledgement. On the other side of the door, Joel pressed his back against it and let out a sigh when he heard his door close; he knew Chris had left. What was he going to do? He might have acted all confident and carefree about the situation but that person was not him because deep down he knew he was freaking out; probably even more than Chris was. He was married, god damn it! He was only twenty, had turned twenty only two days ago; he did not want to be married and that too, to his best friend. He was, they were, in some deep shit and they could not even talk to anyone about it. Slowly, he undressed and got into the shower stall. In a matter of a few hours, his life had turned upside down.

He had heard about the side effects of alcohol abuse but never had he thought that _‘his situation’_ could be one of them. That was why he never liked the idea of drinking, until recently, and he should blame Richard for influencing and tempting him. Joel stepped under the water jet and pressed his palms flat against the wall as he let the hot water hit against the back of his neck and slide down his back. And what was that back in his room? That was the awkwardest conversation that he had ever had with Chris. Awkwardest? Was that even a word? Damn it! Now he could not even look at his best friend without thinking that he was married to him, or worst, he had had sex with him. Actually, the sex part, on its own, would not have been so bad because if they had only had sex, they would probably have brushed it off easily and moved on but being married? That meant, they were stuck in an unwanted relationship because judging from Chris’ words, Joel could guess he did not want to be a part of this either.

He wished he had drunk less that night; at least he would have remembered what had happened. No, if he had drunk less, none of those would have happened and his life would still have been the same. They would have gone back to their normal lives, would have put Las Vegas behind him and would have pretended he had not met Zabdiel again after a year. It would have been an experience that he went through because his friends wanted to and eventually he would have forgotten everything. Closing the faucet, Joel wrapped a towel around his waist and looked at his reflection in the mirror: reality stared back at him. As a matter of fact, there was nothing he could do to erase what had happened; although he dared not say it, he was somebody’s husband. He made a face at that thought because he had not envisioned himself as a married man, at least not before a few more years. Joel sighed and exited the bathroom, deciding to think about Chris, relationship and sex later, and first get ready and meet the others.

“Zabdiel?” he whispered the moment he stepped into his room; if he had known someone was in his room, he would have taken longer in the bathroom or maybe worn a bathrobe, instead of just a towel. He felt uneasy standing there, in front of Zabdiel, knowing that the boy was intently looking at him. “What are you doing here?” Joel asked when Zabdiel’s eyes never left him.

“Hey, I was wondering if I could use your laptop. I can’t find my charger and I don’t have any battery left in mine,” Zabdiel smiled.

Joel raised an eyebrow at that; as if Zabdiel could not have gone to Richard or Chris. It obviously looked like he was there for some other reason. He looked at the boy, who was lounging on his bed, and then at the bag where his laptop was. “You can’t use my laptop because I don’t have it. I didn’t think I’d need it here. How did you get in?”

“When Chris was getting out.”

Zabdiel was in his room the whole time he was in the shower? He crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at his bag out of the corner of his eyes. “Now, do you mind?” Joel motioned to the door. “I need to get dressed.”

“Yeah, sure.”

But instead of getting up and leaving, like Joel had thought, Zabdiel stayed put and only pulled his phone from his pocket. “Seriously?”

“Go ahead and get dressed. I’m not looking, I promise.”

Sighing, Joel only bent down to find some clothes since he knew arguing with Zabdiel was always useless. He grabbed a pair of boxers and tried to wear them without removing the towel but the damned thing just fell to his feet, causing Joel to quickly pull the underwear up.

“Looks like somebody has been working out,” Zabdiel commented but instantly regretted it when Joel wore the rest of his clothes even quicker.

“I should have known not to trust your words.”

“Come on, you know I can’t help it when you’re around and I can’t keep my eyes off you.”

“Please, I don’t need this right now.”

“You ok? You look troubled.”

“Hmm..” Joel scratched his head wondering how to answer that question. He surely was troubled but it would not help in any way by telling that to Zabdiel. “Yeah, all’s good, fine, perfect.”

“Now I know for sure that you’re not fine. Come here, sit,” Zabdiel patted the mattress next to him and looked at Joel expectantly.

Sighing, Joel took seat, leaving at least two feet between them. He knew if he had not done so, Zabdiel would keep bugging him until he put his ass on that bed. “What?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired and I want to sleep but I can’t sleep because my mind is preoccupied and I just don’t wanna do anything except sleep, which I can’t. Is this bad?”

“Wanna talk about it?” Zabdiel asked carefully.

“No, I can’t,” Joel shook his head as he looked up at Zabdiel. “Not to you.”

“But you know I’m always here if you wanna talk, whenever you wanna talk.”

“Yeah, thanks. I guess but you do realize you and me are not really on good talking terms, right?”

“Yes but things could be different if only you give it a chance. It’s been forever now.”

“It’s only been a year.”

“But it feels like forever to me. Please forgive me, I’m sorry, terribly sorry.”

Joel closed his eyes; he did not need that either. He stared at his feet and decided to leave his eyes there because he knew he still had that soft spot for Zabdiel and having him that close and knowing how cute Zabdiel looked when he tried to apologize for something, Joel knew he would end up doing something that he would regret later. Then he mentally kicked himself for thinking Zabdiel was cute; he had told himself he was not allowed to think that, not after what Zabdiel had done. “I can’t forgive you,” Joel almost whispered. “I tried to forget but I can’t. Can we talk about something else?”

“Is that a hickey?” Zabdiel casually asked as he ran his index over the mark on Joel’s collarbone.

“Ugh… please don’t ask me about it. I don’t wanna talk about that either,” he groaned and slapped Zabdiel’s hand away.

“Okay, is there anything you wanna talk about?”

“No… actually yes. I wanted to ask you about the other night. What happened? I remember me, you, Richard, Erick and Chris, we went to the club. Then it’s all a blur and I woke up back here. I can’t recall anything, no matter how hard I’ve tried.”

“Well, we had a few drinks. You left with somebody. The four of us stayed behind for a while and we were leaving when you came back and said you wanted to have more fun. It was awesome and it’s one of those nights that I’m always gonna remember.”

More fun? More like trouble. One of those nights that Zabdiel was always gonna remember? It was not like he was going to forget it either, not that he remembered much but still. What did that mean? Did Zabdiel know or not? No, it did not look like he knew. Because if he did, he would not have asked him about that hickey. Plus, he would not have asked for another chance. Somehow, that was a relief since he did not want anyone to think he was weird, crazy… What if his parents find out? What would they think? Or what if the others find out? How would they react?

“Jo? Where are you lost again?” Zabdiel gently shook his shoulder to get him out of his thoughts.

“Nowhere, you can use my laptop. I don’t mind.”

Zabdiel laughed. “You said you didn’t have it.”

“Did I? Of course I did. Where’s my head?” he laughed along. “Well, anyways, you can have it. Wait! On second thoughts, go and ask someone else. Now, leave. Find someone else to annoy.”

**Back in Christopher’s room**

Chris dropped himself backward on the bed and hugged a pillow to his chest. It had been two days since he had technically gotten _‘married’_ to Joel and despite what Joel had said, they were still married. The previous day, the younger boy had confidently said he would fix things but until now, it did not look like he had done anything. Should he take matters into his own hands and undo this wedding? No, he should just trust Joel; like he had said, it was not magic and it was going to take some time. Propping himself on his elbows, he looked around the room and wondered what he could do in the meanwhile, considering he still had plenty of time before they go out. Maybe he should start by getting some breakfast and then he would see. The moment he was done ordering from room service, he took his phone and stared at it; maybe he should update his Instagram with photos from Vegas and hopefully manage to impress that girl that he had been trying to get for the past month. Yes, that was what he should be doing, worrying about his real life, back at home.

However, he only looked at the phone for long minutes before dismissing the idea; he was too preoccupied to think about girls. _Sex_ , that was the biggest question going on in his head at that moment. Did he lose his virginity? Or was it Joel who had bottomed? He hoped it was the case because Joel had been with guys before, unlike him; he had never been interested in guys before but if he were to lose his virginity to one, he would wish to be able to remember it. He thought back to that morning and that condom. What could a used condom on the floor mean? It did not necessarily mean they had sex, right? But then, if they had not, why else would there be a condom there? How did they reach his hotel room? When did they get back? At what point of the night did they part from the others? Just questions, no answers. Then something crossed his mind: what if there were pictures of the other night? Knowing himself, he always liked to take lots of photos and maybe he had clues as to what really had happened.

Chris hesitated for a second but then, he shrugged and opened his gallery. Logically, if there were pictures, they would still be there whether he checked them or not. Just like, if there were no pictures, it would not change anything because he would still be married to Joel. Christopher looked at the photos that he had taken, they were from the hotel room where they had gotten Joel his birthday cake but nothing after that, except for a video that he could not recognize the thumbnail of. He opened it and waited; it was dark and then he could make out the bedsheet before the camera switched to Joel’s face.

_Joel smiled goofily and pushed his hair out of his forehead. He laughed at something that Chris had mumbled before putting his thumb into his mouth and lightly biting on the finger. Again, he let out a little laugh when Chris kicked him in the arm and, looking at the boy, he ran his tongue across his upper lip._

Christopher paused the video and stared at the screen when the camera switched to him; Joel had zoomed on his face and then had clumsily trailed lower to his chest and the rest of his body and he realized he was naked. What the hell? They made a video? The said video was thirty-seven minutes and fifteen seconds long, what the actual fuck had they done? Christopher did not want to know that. He simply exited the video, locked the phone and hid it under a pillow; as if what he already knew was not enough. Right now, he was freaking out on a whole other level. Speculating on what they had done was somewhat alright but actually knowing that there was a video to prove everything, sent chills down his spine; suddenly, being ignorant was a much better option. How was he going to tell Joel about it? No, he would not say anything to Joel; he would just delete the video and pretend he had never seen it or knew of its existence.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


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